Real or Fake (Day 5)

June 19th
The morning began by organizing bags of school stuff. I brought home things that traveled with me from art room to art room for the last 15 years. My pretty glass trinket jar, for one, held nothing really important but I liked it because the lid had a hidden mirror inside. I am not a fancy person but there are a few sweet and pretty things that can't help but catch my eye and go on to become my favorite possessions. Perhaps I am a girlie girl after all! Another one of those treasured possessions was a stuffed bear the secretary dressed for me as a bear artist. It was presented to me for painting the sets of the Lower School Musical. (I want to say that first play at school was Annie.) The bear was now sitting on the computer desk in the den while I was unpacking school stuff, and when I glanced over at its adorable face and faded red felt beret, I knew I had to capture how much this bear meant to me. The story of my bear turned into a blog post and it flowed through my fingers and onto the keyboard with such ease. I really enjoy the process of writing and the nuances of making it look nice as a visual display. Will this be my new creative direction? I think a career in writing, like my change to Veganism, was always meant to be. I just have to figure out how to make that happen.

Downstairs in the already overstuffed basement went all the school stuff. Now it really was not safe to walk down there to do laundry, much less sew a quilt on a $1000 machine I thought I deserved to buy myself last year. A parent at school was giving up her interior decorating job and offered all her books of fabric samples to me. At the time, I was engrossed in my new creative hobby of quilting and I grabbed them with glee. Some of the fabric stayed in school and some came home to feed my hobby. I did use the fabric to make dolls for the Beginners at school and I have used some to make tote bags and a grandma's garden quilt. All fun, all special projects. But the fabric books now overflowed like a fire hazard on the shelves in the basement where other things can be placed, like school stuff I'll never look at again. I removed the books and left them on the treadmill to either toss, donate, or relocate. Katie mentioned that there is a church in Highland Park that hosts a quilting club. Maybe I can donate the fabric to them. As I pulled out the books, the beauty of the fabric tickled my fancy all over again. Such colors and patterns! It is why I keep going back to textiles as an art form. What will I decide to do with these books? The basement started to look organized after hours of going through, tossing, and arranging stuff, but the fabric still remains a question. Zach's room has an empty closet. Am I a hoarder?

The day ended with me feeling accomplished from a good day of physical work, and I wandered through the house checking the rooms before going to bed. On the kitchen table sat a single yellow rose that was given to me by a student in school. For the last week and a half, it kept company with huge and probably very expensive bouquets of flowers given to me by the parents. My house looked like a funeral parlor! Gradually, the large, colorful bouquets started to wilt and they all got tossed. Not so the little yellow rose. I continued to water the base every day with such care and I was so pleased it was still alive. Here is the kicker! Last night I touched a petal with joy and happiness only to discover it was a SILK FLOWER! I guess because it blended in with the real bouquets, I thought it was just as full of life. Do you think I need a job? I must have way too much time on my hands to be watering a fake flower. I texted my friends with the story of my stupidity and my dear friends replied that indeed, "I do not need a job." This was a sure sign I still need to decompress and calm down from the stress of school. I hope I didn't kill the fake flower with water.