Hearts Beat Loud (10)

June 24th
My life as an artist continues. My latest doggie portrait may be complete, but I haven't taken another look at it this morning so we will see. It still needs a frame and my signature. I crave the creative buzz I get from both painting and writing. Those are turning into my main creative outlets. Each practice, each action, makes me feel like an artist. I am oblivious to time or to my surroundings when I am in the midst of painting or writing, and I'm always surprised when consciousness hits me and i realize just how much I accomplished. Afterward, I get something akin to an out-of-body experience, marveling at the finished product as if I am looking at or reading someone else's work. With my painting of Anthony's nameless poodle, I started texting people with her picture just to get the applause and reaction an artist of any kind craves. With my words, especially in Penzu, they remain mine but I still read them over and over again on all sizes of digital screens and tweak it with the same passionate touches I give a painting. I like the tweaking just as much as being in the midst of the creation. A tiny touch of a brush stroke or a new word brings immediate gratification and so much creative satisfaction. My nameless pup should be worth hundreds of dollars but unfortunately, Anthony has no idea what I am giving him with this canvas. He still thinks it is a quick sketch or a watercolor and not worth the care or experience I put into it. He will have to reimburse me for the frame at least. This subject is something I will have to come to terms for any future requests. And for now... well, I do not owe him anything, especially not a favor. I retired from Ranney. He will have to pay me something.

Vicki was supposed to come to visit with Joelie, Marilyn, and Ruthie on Saturday. The weather forecast mistakingly predicted a 90% chance of rain and thunderstorms so we postponed the visit to Sunday. I think Frank Field was much more accurate back in the day and he didn't even have the fancy technology that weathermen now use to figure out their cold fronts and approaching storms. Meanwhile, it didn't rain yesterday. How could you be that wrong? A 90% chance of rain is like a sure thing! So even though it didn't rain, off to the movies we went. "Hearts Beat Loud" was one of the best films of the year, according to me. It was a feel-good film about a dad facing a record shop closing and his college-bound daughter. Music and the idea of forming a band bonds them together. I loved seeing it through the eyes (or ears?) of Sam as he brought a higher level of expertise and appreciation to the many musical elements of the movie. The girl lead had a beautiful voice and brought me to tears. A subplot was her relationship with a girlfriend. How nice that this storyline flowed naturally throughout the movie expecting our acceptance without question. There was so much sexual tension in the scene when the two girls were about to kiss for the first time. I was rooting with anticipation for that to happen and impressed with how sweetly the scene played out. I can't imagine anyone watching having any reaction other than mine. Love is different for different people but no less vital to life. Vicki taught me that. I look forward to telling her about this movie today. I hope it doesn't rain.