Heading up to Day One

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I never really got that phrase. Didn’t my life start the day I was born? Well, it is my first day as a retired teacher and I have not come to terms with that title at all. I’ve been crying since last week. The kids at school wrote the sweetest notes telling me I was the best art teacher ever, even though I was their only art teacher ever. And the parents were so generous with their gifts and best wishes. It was all so overwhelming. Friday I left school grateful to be finished teaching but sad not to see how some of my favorite young artists will grow and develop. I cried and cried.

Saturday, Zach proposed to Michele. They went to Niagara Falls for a special weekend and it all worked out just as he hoped. I am excited and so very happy for them. I went back to Ranney for my final week with good thoughts of being home to help plan a wedding but got thrown into the nightmare of packing up the art room for the new teacher and saying goodbye to my teacher friends. It was one thing to say goodbye to the kids and pack up their portfolios, but quite another to say farewell to my identity as a faculty member of a great school. My friends supported me, praised me, guided me, helped me through every day. I won’t get that at home. I’ve got to figure out my own routine and find my way to being proud of myself as an artist and as a productive member of my family.

Day 1: Thursday, June 14
So, today is the first day of the rest of my life not as a teacher. Here is how it went. Woke up at 6:00 eager to tackle a long list of projects and errands, none of which had anything to do with art. Made some yummy oatmeal pancakes, ran 3 loads of laundry, cleaned off the dining room table of school stuff, and cleared off the piano for the photos. I attacked that project of photographing the piano as I would any assignment at school. Set up the lighting, painted imperfections on the piano’s wood so they wouldn’t show up in the pictures, used tweezers to remove lint, and took and retook images. Another hour of uploading and emailing the pictures to Dot. Already my confidence is wavering on Day One of the rest of my life. I gave this project 110% of my effort and I waited for someone to applaud my efforts. Not going to happen here. Only Murray kissed me when I was laying on the floor under the piano to take pictures of the soundboard from underneath. I’m not alone or underappreciated in the eyes of my dog. Thank you, Murray.

The rest of the day happily passed by with errands to the bank, the post office, the store. I bought picture frames and developed pics of the kids and their significant others for the mantle over the fireplace. I’m home now, I need my home to envelope me in warmth. Home means family to me. Pictures of my family should be around!

Tonight I designed a 30th birthday card for Michele and then I sent in a resume to the Zimmerli Art Museum at Rutgers as a part-time teaching artist. One day home with tons of things to do and already I’m bored. Maybe it’s just the fear of looking bored. Tomorrow I will try to take a walk and clean out the school bags from the garage.