Father's Day (Day 4)

Sunday, June 17
Happy Father's Day!

Today began as a great day because I realized there was no early morning Monday to follow. I woke up at a crazy hour to get the ribs in the oven for Father's Day. It is getting hard to continue buying and working with large chunks of meat. It looked like there was a half of a cow in my sink. Ugh. But my choice to go vegan and still enjoy cooking for my meat-eating family and guests will be a constant battle as those two choices remain constant.

On the good side, I felt like I was making strides in overcoming my obsessive personality. I calmly did my regular Sunday morning activities, such as refilling the vitamins and doing my weekly bills, without a care that I was having a crew on the deck later for cow bones... that is until I found out more people were coming. Oooops, there went the calm and there I went on my hands and knees scrubbing the bathrooms. I am a crazy person before company comes trying to get my house in shape. Do I do that because I am embarrassed by the state of my house? Is the state of my house a direct result of my working full time? Will all that change now that I can keep up with things on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and not just before a crowd is expected? Let's hope so. Before knowing we were having more company other than the kids, I was happily doing my Sunday routine and announcing to the wind how great it was that I was not pulling out the vacuum cleaner. Needing perfection as an outward sign to the world is one part of my crazy persona I hope to change. Other people need no disclaimer, and certainly no reason to be embarrassed about their homes or themselves. When Joyce drops by, she always wants to know how I keep things so neat. So it can't be all that bad all the time. It must be all in my head, carefully fostered by the memories of my mom's words. Mommy always said to wear nice underwear in case we were in an accident and had to go to the hospital. Or we had to clean the house before going anywhere in case we were in an accident and someone else had to go home for us. There is a theme here about accidents I don't think we should be living by. The awful cancer did her in way before her time and not because of an accident. Was my home always perfect when I was growing up? No. But to my mom, the impression she put out there was important. I don't want to be so obsessed with impressions, but I do know I do feel better when my house is tidy and the parts of my life are in order. So maybe she was right. On Father's Day, I send my love to my mom.

Our Father's Day barbecue included the kids with their significant others. Our family is growing! Peter and Erin came and the Kestenbaum's with their girls. Eileen could not come but sent a gorgeous "Sunday Crumbles" fruit torte in her place. I spent a good portion of the afternoon, as I always do, prepping food. The kitchen is my happy place and I give no apologies for being there. When I would normally curse out a load of dishes to wash, I am thrilled to have them to focus on when company is here. Weird but that's me. No apologies needed. Everyone enjoyed the food and Norman celebrated his day with the people he loves. It was interesting talking weddings with Paula and Abe as our children both got engaged a few weeks ago. Those two young couples will definitely approach their special occasions in two very different ways. They are quite the children of the families who raised them for sure. I am bursting with pride and happiness for both.