My New Normal (37)

July 21st
I have a ring to wear that was kept warm on my mother's ring finger for many years. It is an 18K gold band that she added 3 little diamonds on the top. Pretty and shiny, but a bit too snug, even on a good day. For $40, I had a jeweler increase the size just a hair (literally, from size 6 to 6 1/4) and I hope I can wear it now. I plan on going through my mother's jewelry and seeing what else can be worn or shared. I know that Katie wants her cameos, and she will be getting my engagement ring one day, along with everything else I own (eventually). Michele now wears a diamond from Mommy in her engagement ring. There are other gold pieces and stones. I have to figure out what Sam can use one day for his future wife. This is a project to do in retirement, going through my jewelry along with other piles of things waiting for attention. Meanwhile, my new sized-up ring has seen the light of day and is going to keep my mom's spirit alive on my hand.

My New Normal
I am getting to the point in my summer, as I always do towards the end of any July when I can relax and just enjoy not being in school. The stress has worn its way out and I am ready to move on. I tried moving on right after school ended this year. I did way too much, way too early. I have to learn to pace myself, but there are always projects to start, projects to finish, places to go, and new skills to learn. I woke up not knowing if today is Monday or Saturday. I am now well immersed in the life of someone without a regular job defining their week. My new normal. Problem is I like the boundaries of a well defined week and knowing which days I can just collapse and be lazy because I deserve to have them after a long week.

This week is going to be dedicated to defining a schedule. I enjoy waking early and writing to Penzu. I enjoy planning out my meals. I enjoy being creative each day and I enjoy finding those moments that are so thrilling to my soul that I have to share them with the world. I feel great at the end of such a day. I woke early today with the satisfaction of one who lived a really good week of such days. I think if I checked, I must have checked off many boxes on my vitamin week checklist. Hope I can continue to make that happen.

This weekend is going to be spent with Norman, a trip to Delicious Orchards, going out to dinner and the movies with Jacki and Harold, and going to a wedding celebration for Daniel Goldstein. This is a lovely, full weekend. This is what a weekend should be, relaxing and enjoying the days without pressure or guilt. It is my Sabbath. Being hard on myself and putting in the hours to feel productive can easily be lumped into what I define as my "work" week. So, when Monday does actually arrive, I will start Murray the portrait and work on it until I hear that a client wants to pay for an original B Levine. I will meet with Daisy and tutor art. (Two rabbits, I know.) I will rearrange the living room when the piano leaves. I will do a social thing and have lunch with Lisa and Meg. I will spend a day with Norman and go see a show in the city. I have chores to do and dreams to dream. A full life shines in my mind, there's a smile on my face and Mommy's 18K gold ring on my hand.