Do Dreams Come True? (34)

July 18th
Do dreams always seem more exciting than real life? The anticipation of what could be, fuels me with energy, the inspiration to go forward and create, and excitement for life. I love to plan, I love to make lists and organize my rush of thoughts into action. Retirement has done all of that for me in the last month. I am dancing through the planning stage of retirement with pure happiness and with an occasional down day at a beach or a movie.

Yesterday, I started to see two possible plans come to fruition and the reality is not as exciting as my dreams. I put out there on the FB world my latest post on dog portraits and screamed out to readers and sharers that commissions are open. Lo and Behold, a friend of a friend responded with, "Her work is beautiful! I want a portrait! How do I reach her?" In my excitement, I drew up a flyer on the computer and sent it to her. Never heard back. Then I revisited the flyer and hated it. It did not look good printed out on paper. Back to the drawing board (literally).

Yesterday, I started teaching art lessons at my house. Daisy came by bubbling and eager to paint with me. I gave her a free reign to choose any image she wanted to draw and another image to paint. We printed them out and we spent our hour together drawing an anime character. Never got to a paintbrush, but that really should not the first step, anyway. She drew alongside me and filled the first two pages of her sketch pad. She left happy to share her work, but Joyce questioned why she did not start painting on her first day.

I had a glimpse into what a day might be like if I taught art at home and put in the time to do research on the computer. I ended the day crashing on the couch and napping in the middle of an iPad video, just like I used to do after a school day. I have not afternoon napped for the last month! Since June, I have happily gone about my chores, painting, shopping, daydreaming of plans, and exercising, all without ever crashing into a nap. I am happily exhausted at the end of a day and fall asleep satisfied but haven't needed a daytime nap. A nap was what I did after a scary ride home from Ranney when I could not keep my eyes open in the car. A nap was my escape from a school day, trying to transition to home life, cooking and cleaning the kitchen after dinner. A nap was my mental and physical escape. I napped yesterday. What does that tell me?

Today, I will visit with friends from Ranney for lunch. It will be good to see friends from my previous life. It will be good to compare stories and voice what is happening to me. Maybe I can figure out what is troubling me. I think I need to win the lottery and go back to painting just because I love to paint, or draw with a child just because it is fun to spend time with a child (someday my own grandchildren to be specific), and just enjoy life. But without a win in the lottery, I still need to earn money. Naps or no naps.