Reflecting on Murray's Background (47)

July 31st
Yesterday was a day of reflections and revelations. I have been taking in the advice of many; I am an excited bunny racing for a carrot in all different places. Yesterday I started to see a few clear paths, a few good directions to go in.

My art has taken me in many directions over the years. I do love to draw with a number 2 pencil. I love human faces to be precise, and have filled sketch pads with them. I do love to shade and doodle with all kinds of pens and markers. I am not a creator of cartoons, watercolor scenes or pastel drawings, but I love to paint. I love to paint big. Murals are fun, so are back walls of a stage. I am clearly most in the zone when I paint realistically. I get the most joy out of finding life in my brush strokes. When I captured Hannah's soft body in her portrait, I started to cry over the knowledge that she did not have much longer to live. Her painted image was so real to me, that it became a celebration her life. That is art.

Sitting at my easel in my own art studio is priceless. Murray's portrait began as a painting yesterday. I am trying to figure out background styles these days. The wicker chair of Dave and the wooden deck of Hannah took longer to paint than the actual portraits of the dogs. Yes, I am proud of those background images, but to paint for others, I need to focus my time on the portrait they asked for. With Zoe, my favorite dog portrait, time was of the essence. Not only was I still teaching when I created Zoe, but it had to be completed quickly for Katie's birthday. There was a background I could have painted, but I chose to work with just color. I painted visible brushstrokes blending the shades of color around the dog. It looked nice and a much better direction to go in. I was able to better focus on Zoe with a subtle background framing her face. I continued to do this for Princess, Harley, and Maggie. With Murray, I am not in such a rush and I have the chance to experiment. Murray is sitting on Zach's bed in the photo. Not counting the many bobblehead dolls with their tiny sports logos, or the library of books in the wall unit behind Murray's head, the wall is a quiet shade of green. So a quiet shade of green was painted around the head of Murray. In the photo, Murray is sitting on a dark blue comforter on the bed. There are ripples in the comforter that catch the light. I love to paint fabric and make it look like real fabric, but I was experimenting here. The blue paint I squeezed on the palette was dark but turned into a bright turquoise when mixed with white. I went with it. Instead of getting each fold of the fabric with highlights and shadows, my brush strokes hinted at the ripples. Murray is now posed for the viewer on a bed, a dark blue bed. Sort of. And I love it.

I have always gotten a creative kick out of hinting at things. An old friend of mine, Jane, once remarked to me on the bus home from Bayside High School, as she looked at my painting of Zeyde, that she was able to see his ear in the strokes of my brush. My high school artist self never actually painted the ear, but there it was. That comment stayed with me for almost 50 years. I love being surprised by an image I create. I feel like a true artist when that happens. With Murray's background, it does represent Zach's bedroom without me laboring over tiny sports logos on the tiny shirts of his dolls. I felt a kinship with Georgia O'Keeffe. She enlarged her images to capture the details but became enthralled in the colors and the blending in the process.  This is what happened to me with Murray's background. And I love it.

Two other reflections came to mind yesterday, and one had to do with friendships. Andrea is Norman's friend's wife. We do things with Andrea and Teddy as a couple. They are my husband's friends. Why did it take me 35 years to also say they are my friends? Yesterday, coming off the crushed feelings I had the night before when Andrea made plans to meet Donna without me, I took the hurt bull by the horn and called her myself. We took a walk in Manalapan Rec together. Just Andrea and me. We had a good time. She is my very good friend. Mine.

And finally, I can and will teach art. Evan came by yesterday for a short tour of my house and my paintings. He is excited to work with me and will come on Thursday. He says that wants to paint a president. All I could think of was my year long portrait of Dr. Sykoff. Oh boy. Start slowly Art Teacher. You can make that happen. Start slowly.