A Polish American Dream (51)

August 4th
Everyone has their own dream of a better life. Mine is pretty simple. I love art and now I have all the time in the world to be an artist. It would be nice to earn money for my talent and live a comfortable life in retirement doing what I love. Secretly, I also dream of being a writer. I don’t think that is such a crazy, improbable dream, although my new app, Grammarly, has what to say about that. It angrily judges where I place my commas and wants me to hyphenate all-of-my-words.

I read my Amy "Useletter" this morning, which arrives in my inbox every Saturday, reminding me that it is Saturday because there is no other reason I should know that. My Saturdays look remarkably like my Wednesdays these days. Today, Amy offered links to free fonts that I greedily downloaded onto my computer and a link to Steve Dotto who makes a business out of tech videos. This week's Dottotech video was about Asana, a spreadsheet workbook that works great as an organizer. Immediately, I thought of all the dreams I have to paint, teach and write and how this application might help me organize my tasks. I forget my tasks are still dreams. They are in my head only. There would be no reason to add bullet points to a wish. Then I thought of school, as I normally would in August, and how Asana would help my fellow teachers organize their classroom tasks. I was all but ready to share this video with the teachers at school. I don't have fellow teachers anymore and I don't have classroom tasks to complete, but I do dream of having a full schedule again one day. I think I am still moving at the same speed as always and I do not know how to live as a retired old person. Amy, you gave me things to consider to make my life easier and more organized, however, I am still in between lives here.

Yesterday, I met with Dorothy Sobieski from Ranney. Her magnificent new home is in Ocean, close to the mansions of Deal and very close to the school. It is a fixer-upper, something I learned her husband now does. He works on two homes at a time, flips them for income and Dorothy helps him design the new look of each house. They renovate them, they stage them, they sell them, and they could very well be the next Chip and Joanna Gaines. Her house is beautiful, and if this is an example of what they can do, they could be just as successful. Her kitchen has such delightful features as a big open space, appliances for a real chef, gorgeous cabinetry, and a huge island. There is a lift for her Kitchen Aid stand mixer that I screamed I wanted. Beautiful walls, ceilings, doors, and floors. She explained how they moved walls or doorways for better flow and space. It was hard to picture it the way it looked before yesterday, and hard for me to imagine how anyone can walk through a room as Joanna and Dorothy do and know that the wall or the door should move. I guess that is their gift. I can paint a wall, I can't move it or imagine it anywhere else.

Our conversation over a colorful platter of fruit at a beautiful wooden table from Pottery Barn (that I also want) could have gone on for hours. Of all the faculty friends I had at Ranney, the performing arts people were among my favorite. Dorothy and I have a mutual respect for each other. I helped her set up her classroom as a new Lower School teacher and she wowed everyone with her ability to teach orchestra. A beautiful and talented friend, I hope we can remain friends. Out of respect and understanding, we discussed the school, the other people we connect with, my retirement, and how long she will continue there until her retirement. The conversation offered me closure, just as she is gearing up for another year as chairman of her department and a new September. Her kitchen set a lovely stage for our conversation and she is a lucky person to live this way. After starting her childhood in Poland in a cramped home and under strict government rule, she is now living her American dream. What I found most ironic was that after touring the beautifully renovated parts of her home, her unfinished basement brought out my envy. It was actually only partially unfinished. The finished parts will be soon be renovated for a nicer finish. But the way it looks now is perfect for Norman. It is a room for poker. This is a basement for Norman and he would like it just the way it is. That would be his Brooklyn American dream and he would never ask for it to look any better.

I like my house. I like our old looking stuff, our antiques and the art we surround ourselves with. I like that I have a studio and that I own a Kitchen Aid stand mixer even if it doesn't have an ergonomic lift. But I wish Norman had that unrenovated basement. Everyone's dream is so different.