Belonging to a Group (50)

August 3rd
Just as you might find your sea legs on a boat (not that I understand much of anything related to the sea), I am in the process of finding my retirement legs. My legs are currently itchy after stupidly spraying bug spray on them with Deet, but they are fairly steady now and are carrying me with confidence. I even woke today feeling refreshed, something that never happened during a school year. Ten months out of every year, I was sleep deprived, falling asleep too early each night out of sheer exhaustion, then waking for no reason during the night and climbing out bed at a ridiculous five o'clock hour. I am now able to sleep later. My body is healing and thanks me every day. My paintings are taking a direction I love, my friendships in retirement are filling a need for companionship, my goals for making money are all things I can see myself doing and doing well. I am fully immersed in my retirement and it feels right to belong to this group of retired old people. I feel excited, creative, healthy and revitalized... definitely not old.

As I always do, I began this day skimming through my emails, stopping to read what looks interesting. I received a reply from Abby Glassenberg and from Becka Rahn, both internet gurus I sent a nod of recognition to in my latest blog post. That was very thoughtful of these ladies to write back to me. My blog entry was more about art than sewing, but with these ladies who are writers of all things needle and thread, their messages resonated with me perfectly. It felt nice to have personal comments waiting for me. And it was really nice to believe that I could be accepted as a member of their select clubs.

I do enjoy the quiet act of sewing and the Gees Bends exhibit at the Met reminded me that quilting is a part of my life description. Out of a self-proclaimed necessity, I am rushing through my summer searching for profitable ways to live in retirement and ignoring a pastime that seems too selfish and perhaps too wasteful in my unemployed life. I pray for balance in all things and to feel deserving of a quiet time without guilt.

Excitement to sew again touched my creative yearning just this morning. The Quilt Show newsletter is one that I always read even if I am not currently stitching a project. A link in today's newsletter took me to a website for cross stitching a Torah panel that will be joined with other panels to complete a full Torah. The completed project will tour the world with recognition given to the stitchers through their website. I could do this! I spent my pregnancy with Sam stitching a sampler and it kept me occupied all the way to his delivery. After my nine months of cross stitch training, I could cross stitch anything, whether it is an alphabet I do know or Hebrew letters I cannot read. Sam will help me if I have any trouble improvising a stitch. How perfect this would it be to do this together, 30 years after his birth? I quickly filled out the registration form and it quickly filled me with joy.

One box in my vitamin week checklist reminds me to do volunteer work, to help others. The Torah panel is a quiet activity (my favorite kind) and it will help others complete a project for an international touring exhibition. It will be a Mitzvah. I am very excited. I hope I receive news that I can participate and that I can eventually see the final project if it tours near me. Perhaps we can plan a destination vacation to see it somewhere else. I would be a very proud member of this group.