It's a New World out There for a Retiree

Here we sit on a quiet beach with all the other retirees in Ocean Grove

My friend Connie retired from Ranney along with me. She texted me on Tuesday, the night before the first day of school. We should have been getting our outfits ready and everything else packed to take with us on the first day. Instead, I spent the night before school with my family and went to bed later than usual, certainly later than a school night suggests. I did not set my phone alarm to wake me at 5:15. I did not set my other alarm at 5:20 in case the first one didn't go off. Honestly, neither alarm would have been necessary because my internal alarm clock, powered by nerves, would have gotten me up at four in the morning.

A beautiful day for lunch on the beach

My friend Connie and I texted each other from the beach on the first day of school. She enjoyed breakfast on the boardwalk with her husband. I enjoyed lunch on the beach with my husband. We both said that it was the most relaxing first day of school in years. I hope our husbands remember why they married us and still enjoy our company. They are going to be tired of staring at our faces this year.

We are both still receiving emails from school about new procedures and meetings to learn about new procedures. This all confirms our suspicion that we were both ready to stop teaching. New procedures were never welcome at the beginning of a new school year, especially for teachers tired of learning new procedures. On this, Connie and I agree.

Back in the 1980's, I was considered a tech guru among my friends. I got a kick out of new machines and loved to figure out which plugs went where. Ask any of my friends from back in the day. I was the one they all called to hook up their VCR. I had an Apple computer before there was a world wide web. I taught myself the software on my early, easy-to-use Apple when Zach was just a baby. I liked figuring stuff out.

I'm older now with less mental clarity, but I still know my way around a computer. I can retouch a photo on Photoshop like a pro. Anyone want to look a few pounds lighter in a photo? Call me. But somewhere through the years, hooking up machines stopped being user-friendly. As Apple reinvented everything in a simple, sleek all-white showroom, banning all messy wires, I found it harder to get things to work. I prefer using a cord. I hate Bluetooth technology and taxing my ancient brain to remember things like WiFi passwords. How about all those other passwords? I have books filled with them, passwords that I cross out and then scribble in new versions whenever a website demands I come up with a new one. Create a new password, it would say, but make sure it includes a capital, a lower case letter, a number, a special symbol, and a code they send you on another device, that for the life of you, you can't find. Now you have to locate your cell phone by calling it from the house phone, that is if you still have a landline. And that only works if you did not silence the thing the last time you went to the movies. After all that, you usually get distracted and really can't remember the website you were trying to register for or the password you dreamed up this time. Oh, and for heaven's sakes, they say to never use your pet's name. I happen to like 1234. Great password and easy to remember. Don't use that one either.

My niece, Erin, just had her identity stolen on the web along with thousands of dollars from her checking account. All it takes is some creepy guy who knows his way around the cloud and you are robbed blind. Thank goodness, my niece is tech-savvy and can even code her own cloud-based account. She was able to put her life back in order, more secure than ever before. Not only is it getting harder to figure things out, I feel like we are all entering unchartered territory. On this, the second day of classes, I miss school. School was a safe haven. School had Tyler, a tech guru who looked out for us and made it easy for us to do our jobs. Retirement threw Connie and me into a world without a support team, a place where the meaning of security changes by the minute. I didn't realize how much I appreciated Tyler.

An Instagram message just popped up on my phone from someone I don't know, with the handle of John_cool. He says I have a beautiful smile. Ugh!!!! Creepy!!! Who is that? Not cool. Not cool at all. Give me a not-so-smart TV with a VCR so I don't have to try to figure out Netflix, and maybe a cute pink princess phone with a curly cord that never gets lost because it doesn't come off the wall. I think I'll rewind "Back to the Future" and go pop some popcorn in my cast iron skillet.