A Relic from the Past

Norman back in the day talking on an early iPhone

"Let your fingers do the walking"
Who remembers that commercial? You do if you remember the days before a cell phone was attached to the end of your arm. It's been a long time since I looked in the yellow pages and asked my fingers to take a walk. I bet it's been a long time since anyone exercised their fingers. So why was a phone book delivered to every house on our block today? Do we all have chubby fingers?

Q: Why are there so many Johnsons in the phone book?
A: They all have phones.

I remember getting a new phone book delivered to our house in Whitestone and we were so excited to see if our name was in the book, if it was spelled correctly and if we were listed with the right number. Then I would check all of my friend's names, just to make sure they were in there too. Back then, a new phone book was a big deal. It was as important to have as the phone.

"... is this the party to whom I am speaking?"
Lily Tomlin was so funny on Laugh-In. I am dating myself here, but I remember dialing O for the operator and a real live person not only helped me find a number but dialed it for me. I am so old, I actually get Jim Croce’s lyric, "Operator, Oh could you help me place this call?" If the phone book did not have every number in your local area, the operator did.

If the phone book that arrived today does not have every number in Monmouth County, my dated 6S iPhone can find it. My dated iPhone connects to the world wide web whatever that is and will also place the call for me. Back in the day when I was a short kid, I used to stand on the phone book to reach tall things. Now, I am taller than most people (except for Sam) and I don't need it for that. I now have an iPhone 6S that knows more numbers than any printed book. So what do I do with this thick manuscript that came today? Any suggestions? It arrived without any fanfare and without any reason. It is such a waste of white and yellow paper.

They say if an actor is any good, they can read the phone book and it would sound great. Has anyone seen Morgan Freeman walking around Monmouth County? I have a script for him.